listened to a recent audio recording of someone i know used to know.
i know we all tell stories and exaggerate to make points, a little embellishment to make the story funnier or the point clearer.
but at what point does that embellishment make the story a lie?

saying something was longer ago… does that count?
saying someone else was there?
saying you did something that you actually didn’t?
saying something happened that never did?
talking about people like you know them?

now tell that story on a stage…
what if that stage were in front of a lot of people…
now that’s ok, it’s entertainment…

wait, those people are now in a church….
now does it matter if you’re fibbing?

oh forget it… now i really want to watch Leap of Faith

A few months ago a coworker told me a story about how him and his wife used to work at the mall together in high school, and when he knew she was having a bad day he would buy her a double chocolate sundae at the food court, and it would cheer her up. they’ve been married 32 years.

i forget the point of this story, but now i want some ice cream.

i like making lists, not to do lists, more like
-avoiding what i’m supposed to be doing- lists.
i will call them lists of avoidance and… of pointlessness

examples:
exboyfriends
boys i’ve kissed
had sex with
girls i’ve kissed
girls i’ve, oh nevermind
grocery lists, that never make it to the store
projects for work, because i’m asked to write them down
packing lists
things to quit
things to start
things i overheard
bills
best dates
worst dates
sxsw shows
lists of things i have listed

none of these things are actually written down, but if they were, they have been lost.
if i would have been better, i would have made a real list of all the shows i’ve been to.
…so i could brag about the first time i saw arcade fire

but instead i’ll share this:

i was thinking about if i had gotten every tattoo i ever wanted,
i would have the following…

two hippos on my chest
hippo in a frame on left arm
a robot on my side
star on my right hand
corncob on my side with the words “hot dog”
bicycle on my leg
coffee bean
a back of empty picture frames to be filled as necessary
a carnation on my shoulder (actually got that one)

that’s all i can remember for now
luckily, i outgrew most of those ideas

it’s my favorite shirt.

lately i’ve been TRYING to be more conscious of what i’m eating- meaning fillers, additives, hidden ingredients, blahblah but it’s so hard when companies hide the information from you.
but if they’re hiding it- they’re hiding something, so why were we all surprised when we found out taco bell wasn’t just serving 100% beef in those tacos?

This is what’s in Jack N the Box taco meat:
Beef Regular Taco Filling Ingredients: Beef, Water, Textured Vegetable Protein (Soy Flour, Caramel Color), Defatted Soy Grits, Seasoning (Chili Pepper, Maltodextrin, Spices, Wheat Flour, Salt, Dry Garlic, Hydrolyzed Soy Protein, Corn and Wheat Gluten, Monosodium Glutamate, Dry Onion, Disodium Inosinate, Disodium Guanylate, Succinic Acid), Salt, Tomato Paste, Worcestershire Sauce (Distilled Vinegar, Molasses, Corn Syrup, Water, Salt, Caramel Color, Garlic Powder, Sugar, Spices, Tamarind, Natural Flavor, Sulfiting Agent). Tortilla Ingredients: Ground Corn, Water, Lime. Contains Soy, Wheat

As for Taco Cabana- i’m good at the internet but not THAT good, I couldn’t find an ingredient list- but they call it “taco meat filling” so it’s FILLED with something that’s not meat- and i don’t want it

eff taco meat, even though i already knew it was gluteny i can still have a tiny half-ass rant about it.