coworker asked me what gluten was today, i felt ill-informed since i couldn’t structure a sentence to properly explain. then after a bit of internet browsing, i found the words, and realized she was confused thinking that gluten and glucose were the same thing.

self doubt. i have it. i live off it, it causes me worry. if gluten were a quality in people, i’d need more of it, to help keep structure in myself, my sentences and my life.

it’s been close to three solid weeks of trying my very best to eat gluten/wheat free- i’ve bought the substitutes, avoided cakes, kolaches and donuts- which seem to be more and more present at work. slipped up a time or two with a kitkat bar- minature size.

i want to say it seems to be working, then i have another cyst come up, another bump, another irritation- but part of me just wants to say ‘the bad has to come out, before i can get better’ not sure if this is the way my body feels, or if it’s laughing at me for removing so many tasty things from my diet.

first GF hurdle is 2 months, then we’ll see if it’s helping my HS or not. October seems so far away…