i just ate a sonic blast. butterfinger.

it was yum, but that was dumb!

haha

 I could while away the hours, conferrin’ with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain.
And my head I’d be scratchin’ while
my thoughts were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.

oh, monday. today i play the role of chauffeur, concierge and assistant. it’s been fun, and most of the work day is gone, but have i gotten anything done? NO.

not much else to say. i fought off a delicious looking carrot cupcake. and just had an OVER THE TOP meeting with a guy who continued to scream KEY WORDS to express himself. president confessed he couldn’t look at me, afraid he might laugh from seeing my expression. glad to know i’m supported.

this morning my eyes were tired, my mind still drifting, and the scaled whispered to me in it’s digital way “193″ – i went back to bed because i was sure i was dreaming.

30 minutes later i rose again, and it still said the same. weight moves, it fluctuates and my scale sure knows how to please me. i’m almost convinced my scale wants a favor for all this flattery.

so that gets me to 24 lbs in 17 weeks, i’m not a record breaker- no role model; not sure where the weight came from. i know i’ve lost 4 inches around my most flattering stomach area and my bras fit me a bit better. but other than that i just feel more ‘fit’ and a bit more positive overall.

-subject change-

so i’m doing laundry last night at my apartment complex- i was all alone – until this fellow shows up – puts his clothes in two washers and i go back to the apt and watch some tv… then i return to move from washer to dryer and again return to my apartment- nothing seemed odd.

finally it’s time to retrieve my dry clothes- and the guy is there, folding and sorting. he explains to me which washer he was using and that it stopped working so he mixed his clothes with mine.

WITH MINE?! so if i was missing anything or found anything it belonged to him. WHAT. almost like saying- my shower wasn’t working, so i’m just gonna take a shower with my neighbor!!? i brushed off his comments, accounted for all of my garments- claiming none as foreign and walked quickly back to my apartment for refuge. what happened to logic? or courtesy?!

I’ve fallen, yet again- off my own train to skinnier-happierdom and just made some bad choices, not the end of the world; it’s just funny how it causes so much self disappointment. Each time it just feels like it costs so much more to get another ‘ticket,’ if you will, to get back on the train, time after time.

I almost fear it’s the end of the competition at work that has caused this feeling and these choices- and learning the person who won starved themselves the day before – makes me hot for some reason, I wouldn’t have beat her, but still!

I worked out, I made good choices, and she starves- I think that’s just my perspective on most things becoming a reality. Just like a friend’s fortune at work read “you must work hard to be “lucky.” It’s true, and then irritating when some cheat themselves to be lucky.

Ramblings on blackberry don’t make any sense.

Also cupid slapped me in the face today. Ha.

Currently watching dating in the dark, thinking a bit about dating, relationships, and so on.

Sister cancelled my match.com account, I never looked at my matches- other than the all to often match emails which caused no spark no interest.

I want love, I want a relationship, I want to be able to trust someone and feel comfortable and happy etc.. Etc. But not sure it’s gonna happen for me on a website or -IRL at this point in my life, and if tomorrow cupid shoots me in the butt- fine. I promise not to run to the ER to remove the arrow.

Last date I was on was in 2003 and ended pretty terribly- on an extreme level and that’s not the reason I’m reluctant to search, but maybe why the internet may not be the best outlet. Maybe I just need references and blood samples? Hah!

I think I’m just tired of thinking about it. I’ve said enough.

Oh future husband are you reading this? I’ve been waiting for you…but not on hand and foot- obviously. Hope you’re a nice guy.

woke up this morning feeling pretty good, it’s been a while.

had a wonderful weekend- drinking, laughing, and not making myself feel guilty for any of it. although i held strong to my glutenfree guidelines, with the little knowledge i have . i’m learning that i just have to assume everything has gluten in it, and then go from there.

it’s 11:30 and i’ve already had lunch, stomach would not quit nagging me- so i went to Thundercloud to get the awesome guilty pleasure – Austin Club Salad- guac, bacon, chicken, egg, delicious. and i got ranch dressing, started eating, realizing that it probably has gluten in it. & we’ll see if i feel the effects. it’s like i’m conducting a science experiment on my body- kinda cool i guess. and the ranch was delicious by the way, probably made my sysco and soooo far from being gluten free.

i’ll have to start being the lady who brings her own dressing, along with all condiments- need to start shopping for a condiment cooler bag- fashionable yet, so functional.

had an amy’s rice crust pizza this weekend- actually tasty and i ate the entire thing over the course of the day. also purchased some gf elbow noodles and a loaf of brown rice bread- kinda creeps me out, it’s vaccum sealed and doesn’t expire for a YEAR! so i think my next purchase for bread will be from Food for life : https://www.foodforlife.com/procart_catalog/index.cfm?SubCategoryID=1&do=list less creepy, and more frozen.