Monthly Archives: July 2009

31Jul / 2009

a change.

last night i hung out with friends, watched a girly movie, and met up with more friends for drinks after. 

Sounds delightful, but i had to fight off a lot of my friends too: Chips, Salsa, Popcorn & Beer.

The  battle of the snacks. i’d like to think i’m not a big snacker…

then you put a bag of chips infront of me with some salsa & i’m gone to snack heaven. see you when the sodium coma disolves. unstoppable.

popcorn, i’m a fan. especially in the movies! oh! popcorn! and a pickle too! luckily friend had ‘slightly burnt’ the popcorn which turns my stomach off!

& beer, well that’s a lifetime of selfdepreciation that beer soothes & contributes to.

But last night was different – it was the first time i was ok with saying “no” (ha). I didn’t have to explain to my friends why i wasn’t having 6 pints, or why i wasn’t enjoying snacks. (Probably because i’ve made it clear to my friends- that i want no part!) It felt good.

afterwards i went home and read more Dietgirl. i recommend it to you if you like memoirs and have any issues with emotional eating, like humor, honesty, or trust me at all.

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30Jul / 2009

midday headache

midday break. headache.

again with my overthinking overworrying overorganization.

along with thinking about work also thinking about school, grad school. program unknown.

need research.

undecided.

maybe i could go to gradschool to learn to blog better? i imagine there’s a school that offers that, blog better & meet a nice man- sounds like a good combination life skills program? i could possibly invent this school- well, maybe it would be more of a continuing education course?

indeed -UT offers classes on how to meet people & blog.  separate courses, of course. www.informalclasses.org .

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30Jul / 2009

eeee!

i’m in a new position at work, new position= new fears.

everything is going great;
new office
alpha sorter
lamp
nice shelf
a door i can close
piles of work
my phone doesn’t ring as much, or ever.
a room full of filing cabinets & binders i control
&… a wonderful woman from corporate coming to see the status of those files in that room …

i’d like to call myself MASTER BINDER KEEPER.
the heavier the binder, the heavier the burden – i say.
& i’ve got some heavy binders.

30 days to get those files/folders/binders in tip top shape!

tiny lunch break over.

back to work.

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30Jul / 2009

work related competition

So at work, about 12 of us vowed to lose weight together, some are more serious than others.

the competition started june 8 and ends aug 13. since the beginning of it i’ve lost 8 lbs. woot. 5 of those lbs being from last thursday to today.

7 weeks, 8 lbs down, sounds good to me. i’m willing to take it slow.

i attribute not drinking beer for 3 days being a large factor in the miracle of 5lbs.  but probably more the miracle of me not eating Fran’s Hamburgers this week, or 3 slices of pizza- just because they were free.

275 dollars on the line.  which could buy me a round trip ticket to chicago. and maybe the courage to sell the returning flight and never look back.

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29Jul / 2009

Injury and closure

today I finally locked the door to my old apartment and gave back the keys.

i spent way too long thinking about how much to clean, how to clean, and when. In the end I vacuumed, swept, swiffered the floor and patched zero holes.

I think this says a lot about me- all the thought, all the worry, the process- and in the end I just settle and walk away. I do this with everything! No more!

&Regarding injury, as if self-realization isn’t enough – I think I may have hurt my right hip- but I’m not discouraged, must press on!!!

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29Jul / 2009

lesson learned.

i brought my lunch today. 

left over steamed broccolli from last night, tofu scramble i whipped up last night, and black beans i let cook themselves in a crock pot.

i’ve learned i really enjoy ‘crock-pottin’ me some beans. i know exactly what’s going into them, and they don’t take much attention. &presto! they’re done by morning!

main point: i’m full, and i didn’t waste 8 dollars on a salad.

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29Jul / 2009

promises, promises…

tomorrow i vow to work more.

eye the fedex driver less.

& limit my time on the internets.

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29Jul / 2009

scale.

i made a commitment to my home scale, no ring involved.
decided i would ‘officially’ weigh in every tuesday morning,
naked, after i pee & before breakfast.
this, i decided determines my TRUE WEIGHT.
only my scale and my doctors office had known by true weight until this week, but i’ve decided it’s not necessary to keep it a secret, it truly is just a number. hell, my pant size is just a number & my shirt size is just two letters in caps & according to that ‘More To Lose” show i’m pretty darned average.
but i’m not satisfied.

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28Jul / 2009

image

tv show debuting tonight on fox… ‘More to love’…think i might take a few moments to watch,
while making my low carb high protein delicious cardboard meal.

it’s great they’re trying to target a ‘larger’ audience, but maybe
i want to see more harsh reality- 50 girls of all shapes sizes and bank accounts
and one average joe- will all the fatter girls go first? I want to know!

who knows!? maybe the fatter of the ‘more to love’ girls might be the first to go tonight…

reality is I’m working hard to not have to be on a game show made for a larger audience.

Omg update- they’re promoting it as MORE drama and MORE emotion! And Emme is the host?!
and they post their height and weight upon intro! Why am I surprised?

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28Jul / 2009

diet girl

coworker suggested book “the amazing adventures of diet girl”
buy it here … look at her website here

and i’ll be starting my reading adventure tomorrow.
maybe more enlightenment will follow.

after all, memoirs are my book of choice.

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